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Sunday, May 01, 2005

For Sale By Owner: One (1) snotty-nosed toddler, somewhat verbal ("no"). Fast. Cunning. Teething. Laughs easily, often. Does not sleep through night; believes less sleep makes you stronger. Demands food at 4 a.m., then categorically rejects every item in fridge. Wicked accurate aim when throwing golf ball at your head. Prefers constant motion, attention. Beats up dog. Obsessed with Bob the Builder. Says "momma" like it's a poem.

Make an offer. Rent to own considered.
Comments:
Your marketing skills need some work, although your on-target description is great. Based on the info, my offer would have to start with "How much is it worth to you for me to take him?" You would have to say "It's priceless."

It's all part of a plot to wear down the parents so that united toddlers can claim total victory. Bob the Builder is the leader and parents are unaware of the subliminal messaging going on in every innocuous episode. "Momma" is a coded password. Be glad that you've been clued in on this dastardly plot before it's too late.
 
Seeing how he slept for almost eight hours last night, we may have to pull the offer...
Dadda
 
PaPa, buy me a house on Florence!
MiMi
 
We're willing to offer a day at the movies and maybe even a night out for dinner if we can return him without a receipt if we're not completely satisfied!
Hedgee
 
i think our sons are the same child. :)

i saw your blog link on MDC and couldn't resist. i hope you don't mind me popping in...
 
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